6am Repeat is a recurring feature here at Folk Hive in which we stream the latest track that plays incessantly in the earbuds when we awake at that hour and imbibe massive amounts of coffee and cigarettes in preparation for the advancing day. Consider it your jam of the day — a sweet, sweet gift from me to you. I love you, dude.
I have the ability to mold nearly any song to fit what I need it to. It’s part of my survival mode; a soundtrack makes even the most unbearable bearable. But this, this song from Howth, fits in all but name, truly and without coaxing.
Part of you’s empty and part of you’s pissed. And you sigh your heavy sighs. And all you hear are heavy thoughts. I have a big mouth and I am long-winded and the repercussions of that sometimes catch my long legs running and I can’t escape the things I’ve said. When you’re dedicated to too many words instead of just what is necessary all those I’s and you’s get twisted so easily. What you meant is not what was conveyed. And then maybe, if you’re unlucky, you’ve ruined it. The light leaves it, that thing that used to illuminate the halls of your heart, and you’re left in the dark. You did that to yourself. You are a song girl and he is an album man. You should have known you’d navigate this all wrong.
Best to just do your own thing and pretend he’s not the reason you’re singing. Regret and too many words in a letter meant to show a feeling of lovely vulnerability go hand in hand. It wasn’t meant that I actually wanted to take it all back, it was just meant that I wanted someone to not want me to take it back. It wasn’t sickness that inspired it or lack of sleep, it was a swollen feeling in my heart that compelled me to write words. I felt I would burst and I felt alone in that. I was just asking that you would burst with me and it came out wrong. That’s all.
In other news, I’ve fired my therapist. I don’t need him, I’ve got this blog. Not every word and sentiment of ‘Joseph’ fits it perfectly — Joe sounds like a righteous dick that’s breaking someone’s heart and I don’t need a Joe for that. I can do it all on my own.
Pick up Howth’s sweet little Secret Goldmine EP below, released just this morning. Just three songs but all three worth your time.