6am repeat :: deserter’s ‘hero worship’

6am Repeat is a recurring feature here at Folk Hive in which we stream the latest track that plays incessantly in the earbuds when we awake at that hour and imbibe massive amounts of coffee and cigarettes in preparation for the advancing day.  Consider it your jam of the day — a sweet, sweet gift from me to you.  I love you, dude.

I know I’ve got to stop talking about THE life change and just kick my ass into gear but ANXIETY, YOU FUCKERS.  I am a creature of habit, a minion of routine.  And to throw a kink into that, on fucking purpose, and to walk out alone and with only my own brain and shoulders to support me is so frightening.  If it succeeds, the glory is all mine but on the other side, if it fails, this fuck up is mine to own and I’ll have no one to blame for the lurch that it will leave my tiny family in.  But if I can cross that hump, walk over the speed bump that is my anxiety and (most likely unfounded) doubt, then it’ll probably be good.  Right?  Fuck.

This morning, I woke with conversations in my head.  Words I’d like to throw at my boss, lengthy talks I’d like to have with the God who resides in the sky.  Words and paragraphs I’d like to throw out to the universe, ending in question marks.  I am a mess.  I have to choose to shit or get off the pot.

This morning, I woke to Deserter’s ‘Hero Worship’.  I feel a little better.  It’ll be okay, man.

Deserter :: Hero Worship [MP3]

LISTEN to more Deserter

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2 comments
  1. Hi there!

    I’m Estanis, the man behind Deserter’s music. I just wanted to thank you for writing this, it was a total surprise and I’m so glad.

    Cheers!

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